


Breathless

by angvlicmish



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, High School, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, anxiety attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-03
Updated: 2016-07-03
Packaged: 2018-07-19 19:49:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7375108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angvlicmish/pseuds/angvlicmish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: Cas suffers from general anxiety disorder, and one night while studying for a test at his best friend’s house, he has an anxiety attack. Dean comforts him and calms him down, and somehow they end up making out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Breathless

Cas feels it coming. First his chest begins to tighten until it feels like he’s being crushed. Then he feels his throat constricting. No. Not Now.

He’s never had an anxiety attack in front of Dean before. Dean knows he has anxiety but that doesn’t mean that it wouldn’t be humiliating. Well, at least Cas thinks so. Cas tries to focus on his breath. Maybe if he prevents it before it happens then Dean won’t notice.

Cas is sitting in the middle of Dean’s bed, while Dean sits cross legged on his chair at his desk, both in their pyjamas and studying for the chemistry test they have tomorrow. Dean’s back is facing him so he can’t see Cas. Focus on your breathing. Focus on your breathing. But it doesn’t work. It never works. Once he feels it coming he can never stop them. 

Suddenly it feels like there’s no air. His breathing is becoming erratic and panic and fear rips through him. He sees through his now blurry vision that Dean has turned around in his chair. 

“Cas?” he asks, hopping up on the bed to sit in front of him, there knees touching. “Cas, what’s wrong? What’s happening?” Cas sees Dean remove the books from his lap.

“I can’t - ” Cas closes his eyes, “I can’t breathe.” he gasps. 

“This is your anxiety, isn’t it? You’re having an attack.” Dean’s voice sounds strained, like he’s trying not to freak out. Cas nods.

“Okay, okay. That’s fine. You’re gonna be fine. Just big, deep breaths.” Cas’ can feel tears streaming down his face and tries not to think of how embarrassing this is. That would only add to his anxiety right now. Everything is already so painful. It’s like he’s drowning and he can’t find the way back up to find air.

Suddenly Cas feels Dean take one of Cas’ hands in his own, while the other comes up to lightly brush away the tears on his face. 

“C’mon Cas. I know you can do this. I’ve got you.” Dean squeezes Cas’ hand and his breathing starts to become slightly less erratic. “That’s it, Cas. Big, deep breaths.” 

Dean continues to talk him through it for the next few minutes until he feels his breathing return to normal, although his shoulders continue to shake. “There we go. You’re alright, Cas. Everything’s alright.” 

Cas finally opens his eyes. He feels shame sit heavy in his gut. His face is wet and his lips are still trembling slightly. Dean’s big green eyes are filled with concern and there’s a small, comforting smile gracing his lips. 

“I’m sorry.” Cas croaks out. Dean’s eyebrows pull together.

“Why are you sorry?” the hand on Cas’ face begins to stroke up and down his cheekbone. Cas feels himself lean into it and becomes conscious of their hands still intertwined together in between them.

“I just…I don’t know…I’m just sorry you had to see me like that. It’s sort of embarrassing.”

“Why would you think it’s embarrassing? I know you have anxiety. You can’t help this. It happens, I understand.” Cas blushes at the adoring look in Dean’s eyes. He quickly looks away to avoid the intense gaze.

Much to Cas’ dismay, Dean removes his hand from Cas’ own. Suddenly, though, it’s running through Cas’ hair in a soothing manner, while Dean’s other hand continues to lightly stroke his cheek. Cas looks up to see Dean gazing down at his lips. His breath hitches and Dean seems to notice, his eyes flickering back up to Cas’. 

Cas breathing seems to speed up slightly but this time it’s not because of anxiety. They seem to have gravitated toward each other because they are only inches apart. Cas looks down to Dean’s soft, plush lips and then back up to his dazzling, green eyes. 

Dean seems to take that as a hint because all of a sudden Cas’ eyes are slipping shut and Dean’s lips are on his own. Cas’ whole body explodes with the feeling of warmth and pleasure. He’s only dreamed about this a million times and somehow it’s so much better. Dean’s hands move from his face to wrap around him to wander up and down his spine. Cas finally finds the courage to move his own hands from his lap and wraps them around Dean’s neck, pulling them even closer than they already were.

When they pull away they’re both panting heavily and Cas’ whole body feels tingly. 

“Shit, Cas. I’ve been wanting to do that for so long.” Dean whispers against his lips.

“Me too.” Cas replies, and just as the words are out, Dean’s lips are on his again and Cas feels Dean pushing him backwards, down onto the bed. Cas tangles his hands in Dean’s short hairs while Dean’s hands move soothingly down his sides. 

They continue to make out for another ten minutes before Dean fully pulls away. Both their chests are heaving and Cas feels light headed. Did that really just happen? Dean huffs. 

“We should probably get some sleep now. Would it be alright with you if we talked about this tomorrow?” he asks, hesitantly.

“Uh, yeah. That would be fine.” 

“Okay, then.” Dean smiles, before rolling off of Cas. Cas shuffles off the bed to get the spare mattress out from underneath Dean’s bed, that he always sleeps on when he’s over.

“What are you doing?” Dean asks, already tucked under the sheets.

“Getting the spare out.” Cas replies, his head tilting in confusion.

“C’mere. Why don’t you sleep with me tonight?” Cas’ eye’s go wide but when Dean lifts the sheets Cas can’t help but slip right in. He shuffles around until his back is facing Dean. 

As soon as he settles, though, he feels Dean’s arm wrap around his waist and pull him so that his back is up against Dean’s chest. 

“Hey, Cas? Were you worried about the test? Is that why you had the attack before?”

Dean’s breath is warm and tickles the back of his neck. “Ah, yeah. Yeah, that’s right.”

“Well, I don’t know if this will help Cas but I think you’ll ace it. I mean, you’re the smartest person I know. So, no need to worry about it because everything I say is true.” Cas chuckles and he can feel Dean smile into the back of his neck. 

“Thank you.” he whispers. Cas then intertwines his hand with Dean’s hand that is resting on his stomach. “Good night, Dean.”

“Night Cas.” Just before Cas dozes off, he feels a light kiss on the back of his neck, and for once in his life he falls asleep with no worries on his mind.

**Author's Note:**

> For more ficlets go to angvlicmish.tumblr.com


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